"Toi" Time

November 24, 2010

 

Last night I went to a Kazakh wedding.  WOAH!  What a treat! I can't decide if this is a complete 180 of an American wedding, or if it's like an American wedding without the religious aspects but with some added cultural dances and lip-synching (so… like a reception).  Either way, this is not like any wedding I've seen before.

 

First of all, this particular "toi" was planned in about three days.  That's right, DAYS.  That's not standard, they usually take a couple months, but this one was on the fast track.  I got my invitation in the form of a phone call at 7:30PM, approximately two and a half hours before the event was to take place.  Of course I went!  (I was told Kazakh weddings usually start at 9 or 10PM because historically, Kazakh people had to take care of their animals all day.  By the time chores were done and everyone was clean, it was very late.)

 

I walked into the reception hall and found a seat at a table with my co-workers.  Each table was overflowing with food.  Breads, cheeses, meats, pastries, candies, salads, fruit.  They had everything!

 

The bride and groom sat at the head table, just like in America.  There was a dance floor in front of them and people would get up to toast the newlyweds, dancers would perform, or a professional lip-syncher would "sing."  The guests danced, but the bride and groom only shared one dance.  Most of the time, they sat at the head table and graciously received well wishes from their guests.  The bride wore a beautiful white dress (it looks similar to our wedding dresses, but with more ruffles and fur) and a traditional Kazakh headdress.  The groom was in a standard white Kazakh robe. 

 

In between the toasts and the dances, waiters brought out the main course… I had no idea where they would fit it, but Kazakhs are masters of arranging a dinner spread.  There were more toasts and dancing and then there was cake (and other sweets).

 

Basically, the whole night was eating and wedding toasts.  I did not witness any vows or prayers.  (Legal papers are signed earlier in the day, and there is some stuff that happens with the family, but that is a pretty small crowd.)  It was really interesting to watch because I feel like there is probably more going on than I realize, I just don't understand it yet.  Either way, I loved being a part of it all!