Doing Dishes

October 16, 2010

I wanted to tell you about doing dishes in Kazakhstan. I tried three
different times to write what it means to me and each time I had a
different answer. Culturally, it means nothing (except that young
women usually do the dishes). But to me, doing the dishes means
everything.

First of all, I am pretty useless here. I can't cook my own meals
because I don't know what to do when they give me a whole chicken at
the market. I don't know how to heat the moncha for my weekly bucket
bath. And I can't speak the language. So every day, someone puts
food on my table. They heat the moncha for me and humor me while I
make useless attempts at communication. Someone is holding my hand
every step of the way and I hardly have the words to thank them.
However, I can do a mean dish-washing. So every evening, the family
gets to rest while I collect the flatware and roll up my sleeves.
After all they do for me, it's nice to know I can still grab a sponge
and start scrubbing.

Since this is the only thing I can really do around the house, I have
to laugh. I flew across eleven time zones so I could basically be
useless outside of my job. But now I have two very special jobs. I
am a "hired" volunteer and I came to 1. Teach English and 2. Wash
Dishes. To me, that's funny. I promise I am a reasonably functional
individual at home. I know how to survive. Here, I'm not sure I'd
make it without some chalk or a dishrag.

Lastly, doing dishes has meant friendship. My host family seems to
like me and I have very little idea why. I can't talk to them. I just
smile, play charades, and make faces at their kids. I think they know
I'm a decent person. But they don't actually know me. Therefore, I
attribute any affection to the fact that I wash their dishes. (It does
build character, so I should have plenty of that by now!)

When I was in college, I adopted a Vietnamese proverb that says you
should "do the dishes to do the dishes," I guess it is kinda like the
English, "living in the moment," except that there is an understanding
that every moment is not going to be an exotic adventure. Do what you
must and appreciate that you're able to do that much. When you do the
dishes, don't do them to get them done. Enjoy the rhythm of your
task.

That proverb has taken on a new meaning for me in Kazakhstan. Dishes
may be a chore, and I will enjoy their rhythm. However, that chore is
a universal sign for "thank you" and such a simple act has brought me
friendship through an otherwise broken dialogue.

May God bless dirty dishes!